Divorce: from the man’s side of the fence.

Raising boys to be sensitive MEN.

#metoo certainly a commendable movement to bring together an entire society and future generations to make a change in life as a woman. However, how many movements are there for a man? I wonder why a man does not begin a movement for himself? Why don’t they come out and speak about abuse and hurt and pain? Openly, publicly or even in so many cases, personally?

Why have we bred men to be so? We want them to be sensitive, we want them to be communicative, we want them to be expressive and yet, we don’t raise the boys to fight back for himself against a woman. Why? because she is supposedly the weaker/fairer/softer one? I am talking only physical difference in this context.

We stop boys from raising hands on girls when they are young as a part of their growing up. We teach them to not retaliate or hit back even if a girl does so, WHY? because he is a boy. He is not meant to hit back a girl. Hence, we teach him to silently endure, that which may be hurt for him, or pain…and later abuse.

They grow up as men who are everything we expect them to be. And yet, they do not speak for themselves or defend against the very women they love.

Bitter battles fought alone.

When a man goes through Divorce rarely do we hear of him talking about the abuse or hurt or pain. Most men endure. Most men lock themselves in. They withdraw. And to top it up, most laws are pro-women and not men.

Not that men don’t fight, but, the ratio is far lesser. Women as wives tend to aggressive, against, hate, spew far more than the men. Women fight bitterly too. Teaching lessons. Seeking revenge. Bringing the man and also his family down. They fight egos and they fight hard.

The man goes through mental, emotional or even physical trauma as much as a woman does. Not only in a divorce but also in separations and break-ups. However, they are taught to give-in to women. I am not going to talk about polarities here, but let us look at what happens in between.

I am not saying men are not ***** or @$#%&^*& or (bleeps). Yes! Before the feminist brigade comes down heavily on me. I am all about empowerment for women, but more so for people. For all of us. Not a particular gender but as people.

I am generalizing here because that is what happens in homes, of regular Joneses. Of you and me. The friends we know, or family or acquaintances. I speak of because I have seen them suffer too. Not ugly, bitter battles…just plain separations and divorces.

The women brain-washing children against their father( for whatever reason it may be) even if the man has cheated, it is not right to imprint young minds. Let them decide what was wrong for them, not what was wrong for you.

The final break-down.

A lot of me, are devasted not emotionally or mentally, but, financially. Because that is the one thing most women do as a way of revenge, take them to the cleaners. It is somehow, most satisfactory for a woman to see a man suffer financially. Perhaps, because that is the one wound they cannot hide. The scars they cannot cover up. Their entire future or maybe even of their families or children are wiped off completely in those moments. Leaving them not only in a lurch but utter desperation. This last straw breaks their back. And this is ABUSE too.

Images downloaded from Google.

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sonalliguptaablog

My logo for me is the circle of love and life and a lotus that is symbolic of, that one can grow anywhere, no matter how muddy the waters are. And so be it for me too. Empower-Enlighten-Enhance

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