A MOVEMENT and A TRUTH to be uncovered…and what are YOU doing about it?
What makes one not report an aggressive, oppressive, gruesome, humiliating act of sexual advancement or harassment?
Whether from homes or workplaces or neighborhood or even educational and social institutions?
What could be the reason that someone who has gone through trauma and perhaps, a life-threatening, life-changing…or even life-taking experience, compels one to not report or even talk about it?
LACK OF SUPPORT
and even more,
All of this, at most times from their very own,
FAMILY, FRIENDS, PEERS, NEIGHBOURS, SOCIETY…etc.
It begins with the questions,
SHE? HER?? REALLY???
ARE YOU SURE?
HOW? WHEN?? WHERE???
(do you get it ?)
Please tell me you do understand #GOSSIP #INSTANEWS
Why after so many days or months or years did she speak up now?
What was she doing back then?
Why didn’t she confide in someone?
Why didn’t she save herself? Is she really so weak or meek?
Was she the perpetrator?
SHE IS LYING.
SHE IS FRAMING.
SHE IS SEEKING ATTENTION.
SHE IS DOING THIS FOR PUBLICITY.
SHE IS A *******.
(judgments, judgments, and more judgments)
We refuse to #BELIEVEWOMEN #BELIEVESURVIVORS
At most times we are looking at them through our own filters and lens.
We look at it from “what would I have done?”
“What did she go through and what did she do?”
These are autopilot responses from most people in general.
Before some of them, really wear their #EMPATHY hats on and then re-visit from that victim’s point of view.
There is the #VICTIM and her own #POINTOFVIEW and then there is us and our own #VANTAGEPOINT that we see it all from.
She was so traumatized that she could not confess or even make an attempt to speak.
She was so full of anger, rage, a fury that she could not think or rationalize or assess.
She was so ashamed, embarrassed, uncomfortable that she was hiding.
She did confess but had no support.
She did speak up and against but she was made to shut up.
She was threatened or blackmailed and forced into silence.
She was fighting against the odds like an authority, power, celebrity.
So what makes someone make such an insensitive remark as,
why now? Why wake up now? Why hog the limelight? Why the 15 mins of fame through negative media and press?
WE ARE BECOMING
THE CASTIGATING, THE CONDEMNING, THE MUTILATING
population having our own private JUDGEMENT DAYS.
PLEASE stop judging and objectifying someone who is calling out trauma and harassment, at any time or day or hour of her life, no matter who she is.
Whether you support or not, the least you can do is to not
JUDGE OR CRITICISE OR CONDEMN.
It takes a lot and a lot of courage to speak out, to be seen, to be heard and especially,
to be willing to be #PUBLIC about something that is so #PRIVATE.
So when you have a #MOVEMENT
why not participate in it?
why not support?
Why not be that tiny voice who finally might be heard?
Or be that person who is without judgments?
It may not be about justice for them at most times, or about seeking revenge, it may just be about being able to speak up and be heard.
About putting an end to this, about saving another life from being victimized in the future.
Each one of us has a different perception of what harassment means to us, no matter how many laws or rules or guidelines are laid out, it is ambiguous in its very nature and each one’s resilience towards hurt or pain or any such extreme’s vary in different degrees.
What makes us then be so judgmental?
We are not talking within the boundaries of what law can do, we are only loosely wagging our tongues within the available #SOCIAL boundaries and #MEDIA
We have to really take a look at ourselves here, and question:
where have we come from and where are we going?
WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY FROM:
WHEN generations of women themselves( mothers, aunts, sisters….etc) back then hushed you up against the remarks or comments or even inappropriate gestures by men, uncles, cousins or any other known or important male figures, you would know what #WOMENSREALITY meant BECAUSE you were asked to keep it down, be submissive and shut up for the sake of reputation or family or the relationship/marriage whatever that it was.
WHEN growing up have heard booty calls and lewd remarks and been groped and touched in public places (as much as it is rampant even today)
in those times when it was “normal” for boys to hang out in groups and demean and insult and comment on women as some kind of a “man-thing” or even being forceful and imposing themselves upon them as if that was one of the easiest ways to prove their machoism.
Women were meant to be seen ( and in most cases, not even that) and not heard.
For so many years and generations, women were behind veils, and now suddenly they are out there, in the face of it all. They are equally there in every field, every place, in every conceivable reality.
And so, it is for us as a society to come to terms with this shift and change.
WE ARE NOT GOING BACK,
WE HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD.
This is not about women supporting women
even men supporting men.
We have hashtags now to represent all of these, but, it is about standing up against wrongdoing. Thanks to social media we all have become participants and have the #POWER and #ABILITY with our words to make a change and participate in creating a future world for us and our generations to come, which is not defined by demeaning anyone, irrespective of their #GENDER.
THIS IS ABOUT #RESPECT AND #HONOUR for each one and each life as human beings.
And we can do this by just being #HUMANE
#METOO #TIMESUP #HEFORSHE #NOMORE