Are you BODY SHAMING your own self ??
OK, so, What does body shaming mean to you???
All of those really nasty thoughts and feelings that are running through your head and body right now…while you can imagine all of those moments and almost re-live them, of others shaming you….STOP!
Yes…STOP!…now, sit back and step out of it, pick up the coffee and get going.
NOT…because all of those judgments, critical words, hate, belittling, disrespecting that you heard from someone else…has now made a nest in your own head.
And guess what? we will feed it too….HOW? by first believing it all…making ourselves small….and judging our own selves, based on the judgments of others.
We will actually make it so real and true, all of those things we hear…that we see no wrong in it, we welcome it, under the guise of healthy commenting or constructive criticism.
In my point of view, there is a huge difference between the two, judgments and healthy anything-that-we-call it.
Because one makes us go deeper into our own shell, and the other motivates us.
But when we come to our own shammers, we fail to recognize the thin line between the two.
The nose, the lip, the boob, the ass…or any other body part for that matter, is never good enough for us compared to others.
We dislike and abuse our own selves based on what others think is their idea of “beauty”, a certain Mr. Smith will always have more than you, or Mrs. Patel will always be more pretty and also more popular.
We, as children have grown up defining our own beauty mostly based on what was in the glossies or beauty trends and celebrity icons. However even more influential are our family and friends and personal relationships and their opinions and points of views on beauty and on us.
Money or a persons position in society has also been a huge indicator of their beauty, someone who is extremely rich, or in a power position, somehow always looks more suave or handsome than the regular jones, or more pretty and sexy…and always dresses better.
We define our own beauty based on all of these things and people outside of us, with unending comparisons and our own complex ’s.
We continuously shame our own bodies within by our own constant judgments of it, which by far is the greatest of all SELF-ABUSES.
And, then, we continue to do so with constant diets and health fads, and crazy addictions.
As early as we begin to know our bodies as kids, in our teens, young adulthood and also long after we have reached an age where we are beginning to set examples to a whole new generation to follow into our future, we are still on a perennial loop or maybe a rollercoaster, which we are enjoying so much that we don’t want to get off it.
So, When does this SELF-ABUSE stop? when does the constant JUDGEMENT and CRITICISM end???
When does the friendly advice, “I am pointing out your flaws so you can correct them”, stop killing you inside and shredding your confidence apart, because you didn’t recognize it as a judgment in the very first place????
When a sentence like this sounds like there is something to it, there IS something to it, because it is not coming from a space of allowing you to be who you are.
When someone can see your flaws before they see the beauty in you, you are putting your self up for this kind of abuse.
When you are constantly seeking approval from everyone else other than that person in the mirror, you are putting yourself up for abuse, because no matter what they say, your judgment of you, based on their approval will still be an abuse to yourself.
ONLY and ONLY when we love and respect our own bodies as it is, in whatever shape or size or height or length….can we get stop self-abusing and self-destructing and self-loathing.
Yes, do all that it takes for it to be healthy, that which is again defined by your own body’s wants and desires and requirement not that sold to you by health cares and concerns of family and/or friends or your favorite pop star.
3. RESPECT, yourself and your body for all the times it shows signs of requiring rest or slowing down and even some pampering. Indulge in it. There are so many inexpensive ways of treating yourself to some indulgent TLC. Do it. Find it. And enjoy it.
4. LAUGH, a lot, like really a lot. Be happy. Don’t give in to people who judge you for your laughter or the ability to be happy. Not everyone can do it. It’s a blessing, and don’t let anyone else make it feel anything other than what it is… a blessing!
5. GRATITUDE, just simply a Thank you. To everyone and everything in this universe. And most of all to your own self. To the body that keeps you going, to the body which when no longer ceases to exist will also take away your own existence as a human being on this planet and in this time and reality. So, be grateful…to everything and everyone that is connected to this life and body. be grateful.
Only and only you know your own body, and only and only your own body knows you. Talk to it, listen to it, agree to it…be loving, caring and kind…keep away from all that is critical and hurtful and disrespecting.
Build this relationship…step by step, day by day, moment by moment, and give it those much-deserved hashtags that you so readily use for everyone else #BFF #BAE
IT IS YOUR BODY.. to CLAIM not SHAME.